So this morning at Screenwriting we watched London to Brighton, a low-budget British film that was pretty much brilliant, at least as far as the writing was concerned. I loved the cinematography as well, and the performances were fantastic. It's a bit brutal for some, deals with prostitution and the despair of being on the streets, underage drinking and smoking and paedophilia (where would a film about the desolate be without that?)... Not for the faint-hearted. I really liked it though, I thought it was amazing.
Not the best way to begin the week though, lol.

Our Short Stories class was the last of the lot today :( We will be having one-on-one tutorial sessions from now on, to try and bring our writing together for the submitted assessment. I will miss it so much, it was the best class of this term. I really hope I will be able to keep in touch with my lecturer, although it probably won't happen. Since he won't be teaching us anymore why would he take the time to read anything we've written, what's it to him? He's getting paid for his work now, and when it's over it'll probably be over.
I'll ask him during my tutorial just in case. Because I really value his opinion, he knows what he's doing.
He was telling us about the woes of being a published author today, and don't laugh, because it really is horrible according to him. There's a lot of psychological abuse from publishers, not to mention pressure, and the ugliness of trying to 'write for the industry'. He said the best way to become a published author is to write the book you always wanted to write. And rewrite and rewrite and work on it and sweat over it and polish it to make it the best piece of work you can possible create at that time. Coming from him, I know that's not just a load of crap. So I'll do my best in that aspect, whenever the time comes to write my first novel.
I did tell him I was having trouble with finding my "voice", and he said that, well, not to be patronising, but you are quite young. Which I know, I'm not one of those "but I'm almost 20 years old, I'm old enough" because I know I'm not. There's so much to see and learn that will play a part in who I'm becoming, I am changing all the time since I left school and I've yet to find what kind of writer I am, what kind of writing suits me best, what stories I'm good at telling.

Aaah. It'll all work out. I'm very eager, in fact--not impatient, but eager, to see where this is all going.

My head, it explodes, arrgghghhh.

Right. And now I'll start work on that essay of mine.
Which is due tomorrow. *HEADDESK*

ps: Ergo Proxy is so epically awesome, I want to watch MOARRR but I have no time D:
pps: Because I'm bored, I made the following meme up. Feel free to steal. AND COMMENT, BITCHES! Ask me stuff.


ppps: THIS ESSAY WILL KILL ME I KNOW IT D:

Well, we have enough to do a group booking now, but I've called the ticket people up and the only availible tickets are either £15 each (which are restricted view) or £35 each for seats in the rear stalls. The main stalls and dress circle cost £50.

I'll be texting people not on livejournal, but what would people prefer to do? Personally I'd be more willing to go for the £15 ones as I've seen the show before so I'm not as fussed as other people. I can mix the group up if people want so just feel free to pick which ones you would prefer.

dont u just hate it when u cant stop thinking of the things/friends u have lost over the years??
thinking of the way things could of been, the things u could be doing, the places u could be seeing.

dont get me wrong guys, i like my life the way it is (there arte a few things i would change but there not big things).
dunno y im thinking like this, been down for a few days now.... hopefully i can get over it before thurs..... if not i may see about gettin my pills changed to something stronger if i dont do something i feel like im gunna start drinking..... and i REALY dont wanna go down that road again.

I just went through my Friends and realised I had forgotten to add some people back D:
THE STUPID, IT'S TAKING OVER MY BRAIN, IDK.

So, um, hello again to the awesome starsystems and to glance18 , if you're getting friends notifications now this is probably why.

Also, it seems I haven't added all of my friends to my subscriptions, hence my lack of commenting on some people's journals. Still working on fixing that. So if I haven't been talking to you lately, drop me a line, whack me on the head, idk. Not doing this on purpose; my brain is in fact a melted puddle of goo in there. I blame Johnny's and Prince of Tennis, they have effectively ruined my coherency.

And I need to go work on uni stuff now but I don't want toooo D:

ps: Ergo Proxy. It's only getting better and better. I'm on episode 10 or something. AWESOME, for serious.

Weather today was utter and total rubbish. We're talking crazy wind, occasional rain, and absolutely no sunlight.
It doesn't help that I woke up at like 2pm (since I went to bed at ... 6am? Yeah I know, what was I thinking?! *facepalm*) and most of the light disappeared rather quickly.

In good news, though, I made delicious food!
I need to concentraaaaate DX
Oh and I found a handy Stickies app for Windows, I'm obviously not doing very well in completing the tasks I've set for myself, but it's a start. ¬_¬

PS: D'oh, being the total dork that I am with the backlogged entries and whatnot, I forgot to welcome my new friends DX
Hello to maechi , ihavethatshirt , icarus_malfoy , and emilenshook :)

Failed two classes in the last assignment. Found out a girl who did amazing work in her design book 'nearly passed' and I've got alot to do to 'catch up'. Thanks staff. No wonder I hate you.


People in my class seem to be more friendly and closer which is pretty awesome :D We beat the other 3 Fashion groups since we're hardcore >D and we're the only group that get along with each other- the rest are like: 'D8< ' ....>DDD

And because of college- I freaked out the other night. I had £2 to get the bus home and I had it taken off me since they wanted me to finish paying for the trip on Monday. With no money in one account and forgetting the pin for the other I felt screwed. Until I rerembered there were taxis nearby.. Anyway when I got home I was charged £13 (Parents paid) And have been warned to expect paying a bit more for materials and such in colllege D8 Basically:

-No Money
-It's November
-Need to post 2 gifts, and wrap 4
-Need to buy christmas cards, Birthday cards, birthday gifts and secret santa gift (and family christmas gifts)
-Gotta figure out what I need to add of Failed!design assignment before Monday.
-Need to pack for Monday
-Need to finish Design work and hmk
-Need to finish Business wok and Hmk
-Gotta buy 3 files (and wallets)
-Clean room properly
-Ignore family (distracting me with crap >>; )
-Move crap from desk


I was hoping to get back to my wig and Gs cosplay ;_; College is really stressing our group out. And I'm very tempted to lose it to the staff. oh!! Also: Noone in my classes knew my age. They assumed I was 16 instead of looking at any documents for the trip or anything related and decided that while other students were allowed to make their own way to Leeds by car.. I first wasn't allowed to stay behind, then they asked me to write a letter.. and then after telling and proving my age to them: They said I could only stay behind if someone was there to 'pick me up' D< Fucks sake I'm capable to do what the fuck I like! I know how to look after myself and have used the trains a lot! Just cuz I still look like a brat. >>#

G just came in complaining about problems outside of college.

...

Actually I'm very tempted to lose it right now.

I feel rather naff today..

Some idiots at my school pushed me into a bus today after school. Which was only the cherry on everything. Last night I tried to stick up for my boyfriend, which just resulted in someone saying they don't even want to know me anymore. Someone actually had the nerve to tell my boyfriend that he doesn't like the way I treat Mike. Reaaaaally? Who does that? It's like he wants Mike to break up with me or something. And it actually quite upsets me that someone who called themself my friend could go stab me in the back like that.
I've also been feeling quite down about cosplay, as stupid as it sounds. But it gets me down. It's kinda got to the point where I never get to cosplay the character I'd like to. I'm usually one of the last to join a cosplay group, but I'm usually happy to slot in as a needed character so that I can join in with my friends. But it's actually go to the point where I don't ever cosplay my first choice of character in a group. Which just annoys me a bit, because I cosplay because I love representing my favourite characters from my favourite series. But now that I'm never my favourite character, I suppose it's just lost it's fun. I probably sound really selfish, but it's just something I wanted to get off my chest.

New page of Khaotic Emporium


Wondering who Sable is? Vote to see a sketch of her!

Current uni project is to make a vehicle from Philip Reeves' Mortal Engines book........................ I modelled an Asian-themed hot air balloon (8,178 triangles) :



Close-up view of the dragon basket:



And my mini obsession with Hanfu kicked in a couple of weeks ago so I've been painting this one on and off in between uni projects:

You're Beautiful.
I WANT MOAR.
D:
Anyone besides me and Amy watching this awesome kdrama right now?
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE LSJFLDKJKFJD IS IT NEXT WEDNESDAY YET D:

Where does one even begin? Go Mi Nam? Tae Kyung? Shin Woo? JEREMY?! Jolie, even? SO MUCH CUTENESS, YOU GAIZ. Occasionally even I can't stand it, and my tolerance for cuteness is pretty high.



Oh. I... kind of finished Prison Break last night.
I don't want to talk about it. I'm still dealing with certain things. And I haven't seen Final Break yet, which is supposed to explain stuff in a sort of flashback-esque fashion. I'm actually consciously pushing it off, watching Final Break. Right now, I need to sort of accept that (a) it's over, and (b) it ended the way it did. I spent most of last night like O_____________O, going back through the 4 seasons in my head and making a big picture out of the little parts. In truth, this show was one of the most epic and brilliant shows in the history of TV. Anywhere. Fucking amazing show.
Nevertheless, I still need to go through my 5 stages and accept it. It might take a while, hopefully not too long.
(This is me not talking about it. Imagine if I wanted to start analysing. Pshhh.)

And I kind of finished the second season of How I Met Your Mother today :D Barney. Is. Legen--wait for it...







--DARY!!!
The whole show is, minus some bits that are usually about Marshall and Lily (yeah I get it they're really cute together can we move on now kthx--it's the cynic inside me, see, can't resist it :P) All in all, I'm loving it so far. Ted is a seriously awesome guy. It's too bad good things rarely happen to seriously awesome guys like that. :/
Putting it on hold for now until I next need fun awesome stuff to cheer me up.

Speaking of awesome, we saw the first few eps of Ergo Proxy today at uni. I'm so glad I downloaded it, now I get to actually see the whole thing. I really, really liked what I saw today. And I want to cosplay Lil... at some point. OTL my cosplay list is getting bigger and bigger, what should we doooo, Amyyyyyy D:


Anyway. Sleep is imminent. I have a full rehearsal day tomorrow :)

I made a new filty piece of porn wallpaper. It's november which mean pretty fireworks in England. And to cheer you all up about the Tom/Alex break up, it's Tom and Alex having a go at making some fireworks.

Tab's plans:

Saturday:

Get to london
James' Birthaday meal
8:30 Avenue Q showing.
In Hotel with Jack and Liz

Sunday:

Natural History museum through the day
Back to the hotel to change
7:00 COSPLAY BALL YEAH

Monday

Whatever people are up for in london
3:00 Doctors Appointment


RIGHT

Now we need to sort out avenue Q tickets. If we can do a group booking that would be a good idea as it's possibly cheaper and we'd get to sit together. So if you're definately going and have the money to pay now, say so and we can sort it out.

The cheap seats are about £20 which judging on the financial state of most of us is where we'll be going. Those of you who aren't sure at the moment about going or can't pay until the actual day, still come with us as you can pay in the box office. That way you can then sit together even if you don't get to sit with all of us.

Sense make y/n?

OMFG IT'S AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG

Lady Gaga ilu

Brb screencapping the shit out of this video

Note to self: Must not stay up until 4am when I have to get up early in the morning T_T

This week is our reading week at uni, which means we have no classes but we have coursework to prepare and reading to do so they're giving us this time to catch up... I booked an appointment with my Screenwriting lecturer at noon, to talk about my screenplay, what I should to to make it better, etc. Kinda ended up changing most of it around, it's nothing like the original idea... And I'm grateful, actually, because now that it's lost its autobiographical element I can be more objective about it. I think it'll turn out okay :) Much better than if I'd kept the original concept.

After my meeting with him was over, I went to pay the hugest library fine I've ever paid (just over £100... >.< yeah don't ask) which has left me practically penniless, hopefully not for long. This means though that I've got no more debt to uni, so in that sense I'm super relieved.

I surprised myself with my diligence today; after the fine was paid I went to the library and did research on my first Modernism essay, which is due next Tuesday. Not only did I find four relevant books (one of which is actually proving not so helpful after all, meh), I also wrote about 300 words of the actual thing. I like not doing it in the last minute, it actually feels so good :D I'm doing it on Ezra Pound, one of the founders of the Modernism movement. Skimmed through one of his poetry books and I'm really really liking his writing :D Had difficulty picking only three poems, actually :P Might post some here as I'm working? I think he was really awesome.

Anyway, I hadn't eaten anything all day so by 5ish I was starrrving. Headed home and found Amy napping, so cuuute :3 Since we were going to eat together I waited and decided to call my sister to wish her an early 15th birthday :) - it's tomorrow. I wanted to be the first to wish her, which I was, so yaaay. Talked with her and then my mom for a bit, then had dinner with Amy and watched some stuff like Arashi no Shukudai-kun and the Crazy Moon PV making of. The chorus got stuck in my head and I was repeating "muteki! muteki!" all the time because I didn't know how the lyrics go after that :P 

Somehow, as I was saying "muteki" over and over, I realised that had this been a Greek word it would probably have some sort of negative meaning, like a playful insult said to kids, kinda like "rascal" or something. So I kept saying it Greek-style, over and over again, amidst lots of lolz XD At some point I kind of made a pig sound involuntarily, so that was added to the joke XD We couldn't stop laughing, for no apparent reason. I may or may not have been high on sugar/chocolate, too.

And then we watched an episode of Rookies (hadn't watched any since April!! O_O) and we kept saying "μουτέκι" to them and it just fit perfectly, hahaha. I love how a fresh inside joke seems entirely appropriate at all times XD
ANIYAAA, MOUTEKIIII!! XD
Aw man, so random. ~_~
Do you get random times like this where you can't stop making jokes and laughing hysterically?
I don't get them often but when I do, it's like BWAHAHAHAHA all over the place :P

New page

No Tom, it's not the answer to everything. You Cock.

Enjoy the page folks, I stayed up late for it because I refused to sleep before it was done.

Poll #1483143
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

What should i doooooooo?

 

Im starting to think about making my cos for the ball

If you dont know im planning on cosplaying as the Dvd Artwork version of Suzuaku from Code Gayass :D




The problem with this is that we all know he has detail on his back, but theres no refrence for it only what other cosplayers have done...

I have drawn up some plans and would like your input to help me  which design i should use as im partial to all of them lol


So please post and vote for your favourite XD

The one thing that I've found hardest to deal with in my transition has been that while being a guy is the most comfortable for me, when I'm male I don't feel attractive.

I just went to a party where there were lots of women in stockings and corsets and it kind of made me envious. Because I used to be able to wear them and I looked really good in them, even if I didn't like it that much due to the female-ness of everything.

I was there in just trousers and a shirt so I felt like such a plain thing compared to what I used to wear to that kind of event. Before I would have turned heads, now I'm just a small guy who doesn't even look like a guy yet.

I'm not really looking for pick-me-up "You're attractive!" replies, just maybe some opinions on what makes guys attractive/sexy. Maybe some clothing advice if anyone has it (though please keep in mind most goth/fetish stuff would just make me look like a girl).

Oh my god I keep saying I'll post here more and then I never do -.-
Third time lucky I suppose~

So yeah, nearly a year since my last update. Not that much has happened really xD
I'm in sixth form now. Studying Maths, Further Maths, Physics & ART 8D
Maths and Phsyics is a LOT of work, and art's nice and easy.

The London MCM October EXPO wasn't long ago, and I was there, as always. Saturday I was cosplaying Oichi from Samurai Warriors 2, which was really awesome. I got to be involved with the people at the Tecmo Koei booth and meet some other people who like cosplaying from koei games. I was with my boyfriend Mike, who was cosplaying Nagamasa Azai (from the same game). His costume kept falling apart, so we spent most of our time at the cosplay desk hogging the glue gun -.-. We had a couple of photoshoots with Number3 and Emi who was cosplaying Oz from Pandora Hearts. I bought some cool koei stuff, like a mini Zhao Yun firgure~ Mike and I then entered the masquerade in the expert category. We quite rightly didn't win. Not because our costumes weren't good, but because the others were AMAZING!
On Sunday, my secret cosplay was revealed and I cosplayed HARRY POTTER. Which I had been looking forward to for AGES. I'm a massive Harry Potter fan, and getting to be Harry in such a large group was totally amazing. Sunday was less eventful than Saturday. I just hung out with the group all day and then went back to the hotel.
Mike, Kherrigan, Charlotte, Conor and I went to the PTI restaurant. We ordered. Two starters. Two sausage and mash. Fish. Scampi. And a bowl of chips. It took two. Hours. For all our food to arrive. We got three drinks and money off our meal. And the food wasn't even that good.
Then, the monday after, I got free breakfast from the PTI and then went with Mike, Emi and Jenn back to Manchester. Long coach was longggggg and the toilet was always occupied!
So then I stayed at Mike's for the week which was funn~

Cosplays for the next events?
Midlands expo is next and I shall be Xerxes Break from Pandora Hearts. Then is Kitacon. I don't know if I can go for the whole weekend, and none of my plans are secure. On Saturday I should be Sheryl Nome from Macross Frontier with Emi as Ranka and Mike as Alto. We'll do formal outfits in the evening and stuff. Sunday I'm not sure of yet, but if I'll still be there in the evening then I'll be Reo from Pandora Hearts. And Friday night I have a surprise with Franky and Mike. It will be. Amazing.
Then comes May EXPO. No, I will not be at minamicon. When the registrations came out, I wasn't sure whether I'd be away with my art class. I'm not going to be, but I'm glad I've saved a bit on money. So for May EXPO I will be Count Waltz from Eternal Sonata and Goten from Dragonball Z. Contrast? I think so!

So that's all I'll be rambling about for now~